Stewy's Story

Excerpt from "The Misadventures of Stewy Beckman" by Kourtney Parker

...I was minding my own business out on the deck, just had a stinky poop and was enjoying the brisk breeze.  I must have not been watching where I was going because I lost my footing and went flying down!!  I landed safely, only one floor to the ground, I AM a cat you know.... I was really scared, there were HUGE cars going by and birds looking at me, so I had to find a place to hide under…I had to leave... 

I remember trying to make my way home, it was cold and the humans said it was “snowy”.  I remember a big BANG and then seeing a nice woman who brought me into the doctor’s office.  OH it was so warm, and they had some delicious food.  The humans (or “fleshy’s” as I like to call them) all talked to me like mum used to- with a soft friendly voice.  They brought food and clean water, they even gave me a bath so I would look handsome for my family.  Dr. St. Pierre’s smile reminded me of my mom and I told everyone who would listen that I have a family and I know they miss me.  Well somebody must have understood me cause they called my dad and he came right away!  When I saw my dad I just KNEW it was him.  I purred and hobbled over to him.

What the?  Oh crap something happened to my hand!  To be honest, I didn’t care that anything happened to my hand, THAT’S MY DAD!  I could tell dad was happy, he was trembling and kept asking if it was really me!  I kept telling him “prrrt-prrrrrt” which means “hellll yeaah!”.  Dr. St.Pierre said I had to stay with them for a little bit longer, she was going to make sure that my hand was ok and that my belly started to feel better.  I think the gals there had a crush on me, they had the nicest smiles and they always stopped to pet me.  Apparently I had worms, fleas, frostbite, infections, and a protruding anus- hmph who knew??  I also had some big problems with my hand and arm- so they put a cast on and hoped for the best!

On Friday, Dr. St. Pierre said I could maybe go home!  But I still hadn’t seen my mum…where was she?  Just as the doc was checking me out, I heard my mum.  I just KNEW it was her.  I looked around the corner and saw her smile.  She started crying instantly and I started telling her all about my adventures.  She couldn’t even speak, or maybe I didn’t let her cause I didn’t want her to interrupt all my stories.  She just cried and cried, and so did dad.  She started saying “it’s Stewy” and I yelled “well of COURSE it is- where have YOU been?”  Mum was in Calgary visiting aunty Kiki.  Dr. St.Pierre was so happy that she didn’t have to babysit me anymore and that I was going back home to my forever family- but not as happy as I was!  I had to wear the cast for awhile, and I also had to take a LOT of medication.  Mum and dad didn’t let me out of their site for weeks!

I was very dirty, had black ears, nose, and toes from frostbite, had some scars from all the street brawls and was super skinny.  Mum and dad fixed me right up with some old fashioned love.  Mum slept with me in the spare room because I wasn’t allowed to go near my brothers for awhile.  I had to eat some special food and then slowly met my brothers again.  I think they were a little jealous that mum and dad were paying so much attention to me.  I also think they were afraid of my cast on my arm.  So for the next three or four months we tried all sorts of casts, splints, medicines, therapy and everything we could to fix my front paw.  I even had to wear that stupid satellite collar – although mum kept saying how handsome I looked in it!  I got some nasty infections and almost lost it a few times.  Nothing really worked- not even my 2 times weekly “Fur-iotherapy” sessions.

I guess I am paralyzed from my mid -forearm all the way down my paw.  It’s now shaped like a boxing glove and I use it all the time as a weapon!  People don’t realize that I am much better off with this secret weapon!  I have gained all my girth back, and then some, and I still rule the roost!  I can win in a running race with 2 out of my three brothers, and I am daddy’s choice when it comes to watching the hockey game with a buddy on the bed.  Mum calls me her angel, her gift, her blessing, and dad still calls me Shoe-purr or the whiteness.  They tell me I was gone for seven months. I am not sure how long that is but it seems like a lifetime to me.  All I know is that the world is a better place when you are at home with family.  My mum and my dad would do anything for me, and I am NEVER leaving again!